Good Days, Bad Days, and Snow Days

That title pretty well sums up the last week, following my first round of chemotherapy.  I knew that this first round would be a sort of trial.  I had talked to several cancer survivors who had given me some idea of what to expect, but I really didn't know I would react personally.  I was glad that my treatment day turned out to be a Monday, since that would give me the whole week to recover at home (alone) while my kids were at school during the day.  My mom had planned on staying with me the first two days in case I needed her.

Of course, I had not counted on snow complicating my plans once again!  Snow began to fall early Tuesday morning, resulting in 4-5 inches of accumulation at our house.  Jack and Lucy were both home that day.  The following three days were a 2-hour delay for Jack.  Fortunately, my mom was able to make it over to our house early on Tuesday morning before the roads were too bad.  She stayed with me all day and helped take care of the kids.  She also helped us cover childcare and transportation on the delayed days, since I didn't feel up to driving.  I don't know what we'd do without her!

Now for the good days and bad days....Last week was a roller coaster!  I began a three-day regimen of steroids on Tuesday morning, as prescribed by my doctor.  I believe the steroids masked a lot of my symptoms on both Tuesday and Wednesday.  I was glad to not feel bad, but I also didn't like the way the steroids made me feel.  I felt jittery, like I wanted to jump out of my skin at times.  I also had a HUGE appetite and was hungry all the time.  I didn't sleep well Tuesday night, and Wednesday night I hardly slept at all.  After being asleep just 3 hours Wednesday night, I woke up wide awake and...HUNGRY!  I couldn't believe it, but I absolutely could not ignore the huger.  For the first time that I can remember, I had to get up in the middle of the night and have a snack.  The only problem is that nothing sounds very good at 1:00 A.M.!  I ended up having some dry Lucky Charms, which hit the spot.  Turns out, this is now my favorite snack!  I've had them several times again since that night.  Anyway, I never went back to sleep after my midnight snack.  I tried to watch TV, read, lay in the dark.  Nothing worked.  The next morning, I was in tears over taking another steroid.  I was supposed to have another day on them.  Quentin convinced me to call the doctor before taking a pill.  I did, and the doctor told me I could stop taking them.  She also said that I could cut the pills in half next time and just take them for two days.  I am so hopeful that that will be better!! As it is, I'm glad to be done with steroids for now!

Thursday was a rough day.  I was obviously extremely tired, since I'd been up since 1:00 that morning. I think there was also a "crash" from no longer having the steroids to cover up some of the symptoms, like nausea.  However, they were still in my system enough to prevent me from taking a nap!  I was feeling good, however, that I had not experienced any side effects from the Neulasta shot I'd received on Tuesday.  That was the shot they gave me to help boost my white blood cells and immunity.  They had warned that it could cause bone pain.  Late Thursday afternoon, right at 48 hours after getting the shot, the bone pain set in.  It came on gradually, with me feeling small pains in places on my body that I'm not used to hurting.  The first bone that hurt was the bone in my nose, of all places!  I realized how severe the pain had become when my kids got home from school.  Lucy was sitting next to me on the couch, wiggling around and pulling on me in her 3 year-old way.  However, her touches were excruciatingly painful!  The pain only increased throughout the evening.  I couldn't get comfortable, because it hurt to lay or sit.  When I finally went to bed, I just had to get in one position and not move.  As long as I didn't move, it didn't hurt.  I was just praying for a full night of sleep at that point.  Fortunately, my prayers were answered!  I slept through the night (even with the pain) and woke up at least feeling rested.  The pain was not as severe on Friday and seemed to gradually improve throughout the day.  It was totally gone by Saturday evening.

Our weekend was pretty low-key.  It snowed again Saturday morning and was cold outside, so we hung out at home most of the day.  Sunday was warmer, and Jack got to get outside and release some energy.  I was still feeling tired but better overall.  I was able to rest on the couch but still be with the kids.  Lucy loves to climb up next to me with a big stack of books.  She'll sit with me and look at books for the longest time! Jack got UNO for Christmas, and we've played countless games.  He loves it, and it's perfect because I can do it without moving from my spot on the couch!  The one advantage to all of this is that it's made me slow down and enjoy each and every moment with my kids.  Prior to this, we lived a pretty hectic life.  This has definitely slowed me down, and has therefore slowed my family down too. However, that's not been a bad thing for us.  We've really had some good quality time together, and I'm doing things with my kids that I never thought I had time to do before.  I'm thankful for that lesson on what's important in life and for having the time to enjoy my beautiful children!

Monday morning dawned with me feeling almost normal!  I was scheduled to attend a Look Good Feel Better class on Monday.  This is a class sponsored by the American Cancer Society that addresses the cosmetic needs of women with cancer.  I was excited to go the class and also glad to be feeling better.  I was just worried that I would overdo it in the morning and feel too tired to make it to my class in the afternoon.  I took Lucy to school for the first time in weeks (something I was SO glad to be able to do again!) and then came home and rested before getting ready to go to the class.  The class mostly focused on make-up application, which was good.  However, I thought it was also going to cover some things related to hair loss.  Anyway, it was good to get out and be with people again.  I also received a bag full of name-brand (Clarins, Elizabeth Arden, Estee Lauder, etc.) cosmetics. I certainly can't complain about that gift!

Today is also a good day.  I still don't feel totally "normal."  I still feel just a little bit medicated, like I'm in a little bit of a fog.  It's not bad, though, and I'm not complaining!  I am very excited to have several more "good" days to look forward to before going back for another treatment next Monday.  (Treatments are every other week right now.)  As much as I don't look forward to returning to the way I felt last week, I'm hopeful that my doctor and I will both learn from that first "trial" round.  My doctor has already said she'll adjust the dosages of some meds, and I feel better knowing more about what to expect.  I also know that, no matter how bad I feel in a given moment, it WILL get better!  And, let's not forget the most important part....I am now actively kicking cancer's butt!!!! :)

I'd like to close this post with a story so funny I had to share.  One very cold morning last week, Quentin was taking Lucy to school.  He snapped a picture of the temperature in his car (which was -6 degrees) and texted it to me.  I was feeling rough and had Jack home with me for one of the delayed schedules.  I saw the text and quickly typed back, "Brrr!" and hit Send.  As soon as I did, I realized that auto correct had worked its magic and changed my message to "Breast!"

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!  I know I say this every time, but it's because I mean it.  Thank you for the continued words of encouragement, prayers, and messages!!!