When I arrived, I was a little worried that they may send me home without treatment. I was not feeling well, sort of like I had a cold. I assumed that was a sign that my counts were low. The very first thing I do every time I go to the oncologist is have lab work, so they can check my blood counts. I told the lady who took my blood that I was worried, and she said she'd say a prayer for me as she delivered my blood. It must have worked, because my counts were good enough for treatment! During my visit with the doctor, she confirmed that both tumors have shrunk more since my previous treatment! Yay for kicking more cancer butt! :)
Round 4 of AC went pretty much like the others. I know the drill pretty well by now...First they access my port (the worst part because of the stick!), then give me saline, then three different pre-meds by IV, then push the Adriamycin (which is kind of crazy to watch going in because it's red), then the Cytoxan by IV. All in all, it takes a little over three hours to complete the entire process. I have the same nurse throughout the process, who comes and goes as needed. I've had four different nurses for my four different treatments, and they've all been so nice! I felt pretty good right after this treatment (it seems like it can vary in how quickly I start to feel the effects), so Quentin took me out to lunch before we headed home. That was a very welcome treat and a great way to celebrate being finished with the first part of chemo!
I felt pretty bad, as is typical, for about a week following my treatment. I had more nausea this time than I've had in the past, and the fatigue was pretty bad too. It's hard to really describe how I feel after a treatment...I just feel weird, not like myself. I even have a weird, kind of metallic, taste in my mouth that lasts for several days after a treatment. And then, gradually, symptoms start to disappear and I begin to feel more like myself. There has been a cumulative effect with the fatigue, and I can tell I tire more easily than I used to, even on "good" days. I'm trying to fight it by staying as active as I can. Before this all started, I walked two miles on the treadmill every morning before the kids got up. I rarely missed a day. Now, I try to walk every day during my off-week from treatment. I just don't go nearly as fast as I used to! It's important to me to stay in shape during this process, especially knowing that I have a major surgery coming up once chemo is finished. It's feels good too, to know that I'm doing something that resembles what I did before my diagnosis. Just one more way I'm kicking cancer's butt, by not allowing it to control me!
One of the downsides of my off-week is that my counts are lowest that week. That means that, although I feel more like getting out and doing things, I'm also at a higher risk of catching something because my immunity is lowered. During both this round and the last, I developed a cold. I don't feel bad enough to really change my activities, but I'm also not glad to have to deal with that when I am otherwise feeling good! Because my immunity is lowered (and sometimes because I just feel really bad), I've had to miss out on a lot of activities with my kids. I haven't been able to volunteer at Jack's school, go on field trips, or even just go and eat lunch with him. I've also missed out on attending several birthday parties with my kids and other functions, like a trip to Gattiland with Jack's basketball team and the Spring Fling at his school. Big crowds like these, especially where there are a lot of kids, make me fearful of germs. It's been hard to miss out on these things, both for me and for Jack and Lucy. I just keep telling myself that it's only temporary!
I have been trying to go to work some during my off-weeks. It makes me tired to do it, and I usually only work two days. When I do go in, I'm able to help out my colleagues by writing reports for them. Going in to work has actually helped me in this process. Kind of like with my work-outs, it's just one more way I can act "normal." I'm also blessed to work with the best group of people in the world! I count many of my coworkers as some of my dearest friends, and it's always good to see them. It's a blessing that I've been able to modify my work to allow me to stay in the office, rather than being out in the schools. Although I do miss that part of my job, my doctor did not feel that being in a school would be the best thing, for obvious reasons! I am blessed with wonderful coworkers who have donated sick days to me so that I don't have to worry about not having sick days or taking unpaid time off. I am so overwhelmed by their generosity!
Over the last several weeks, I've learned that "chemo brain" is a real thing. I can really tell that I process information differently than I did before starting chemo. I have trouble concentrating at times and can be really forgetful. There are also times when I just can't think of the word I need. It's not even like it's on the tip of my tongue, it's just not there! Although these things have been hard to deal with, everything I've read (and what my doctor has told me) indicates that they will go away after being finished with chemo. I was so concerned about how I've been feeling that my doctor ordered a brain MRI. Having that brain MRI was one of the more terrifying moments of this experience, only because I couldn't help but lie there and think about "what if." Good news is, brain MRI showed absolutely no concerns! My doctor actually called me later in the evening on the day of my test. My heart stopped when I heard her voice on the phone, because usually the doctor herself doesn't call (especially so quickly) unless there's a problem. However, my doctor was calling because she said she knew I would be worried about it and wanted to let me know everything was fine!
I also had an ultrasound to check my ovaries this past week. With everything I've learned during this process, I now know that I could be at risk for developing ovarian cancer at some point. The ultrasound was to check for any signs of that at this point. There was a cyst on one of my ovaries, which could be normal if chemo hasn't completely shut down their functioning (which it can do but doesn't always do). However, given how so many of the tests and procedures I've had lately seem to keep turning up more bad news, I can't help but worry a little bit. I will follow-up with another ultrasound in two weeks to look for changes in the cyst. If it's benign, they will be able to see a change in it. The doctor also ordered a CA 125 test, which is a blood test for ovarian cancer. The numbers for that came back in the normal range, which is reassuring. I definitely plan to have a hysterectomy in the very near future so that I no longer have to worry about developing ovarian cancer. However, I was hoping to hold off on that until after finishing with chemo, the mastectomy, and radiation. It's still looking like that can be the case, but I'll know for sure in a couple of weeks.
The good news for right now is that I have two off-weeks this time because my doctor wanted to give me an extra week before starting the next phase of chemo. So, I have an extra week this time to enjoy feeling (sort of) normal! That is so exciting to me! I realize that I have taken my health for granted my entire life, until now. I was blessed with extremely good health prior to my diagnosis and have never experienced any health problems until now. Since my diagnosis, and especially since starting chemo, I have learned to really appreciate my health. I can't even describe how good it feels to feel good! Sometimes, on good days, I'll stop and think how bad I felt just a few days prior and really take a moment to appreciate how good I feel right then. I can't even begin to explain how much this journey has taught me to appreciate everything about my life!
I'm planning to use this extra "good" time to enjoy my family, accomplish things that have been left undone, and just enjoy feeling good! I also have the privilege of hosting a baby shower for my sister-in-law, who is expecting her first baby. I love planning parties, and this one has been extra fun to plan. I had offered to have this shower for her before my diagnosis. After my diagnosis, I thought I might not be able to do it, which was very disappointing to me. However, once we realized we could time it right, I decided to go ahead with it. Again, one more way I'm keeping control, rather than letting cancer take control of me!
Round 4 of AC went pretty much like the others. I know the drill pretty well by now...First they access my port (the worst part because of the stick!), then give me saline, then three different pre-meds by IV, then push the Adriamycin (which is kind of crazy to watch going in because it's red), then the Cytoxan by IV. All in all, it takes a little over three hours to complete the entire process. I have the same nurse throughout the process, who comes and goes as needed. I've had four different nurses for my four different treatments, and they've all been so nice! I felt pretty good right after this treatment (it seems like it can vary in how quickly I start to feel the effects), so Quentin took me out to lunch before we headed home. That was a very welcome treat and a great way to celebrate being finished with the first part of chemo!
 |
| Last Round of AC!!! |
One of the downsides of my off-week is that my counts are lowest that week. That means that, although I feel more like getting out and doing things, I'm also at a higher risk of catching something because my immunity is lowered. During both this round and the last, I developed a cold. I don't feel bad enough to really change my activities, but I'm also not glad to have to deal with that when I am otherwise feeling good! Because my immunity is lowered (and sometimes because I just feel really bad), I've had to miss out on a lot of activities with my kids. I haven't been able to volunteer at Jack's school, go on field trips, or even just go and eat lunch with him. I've also missed out on attending several birthday parties with my kids and other functions, like a trip to Gattiland with Jack's basketball team and the Spring Fling at his school. Big crowds like these, especially where there are a lot of kids, make me fearful of germs. It's been hard to miss out on these things, both for me and for Jack and Lucy. I just keep telling myself that it's only temporary!
I have been trying to go to work some during my off-weeks. It makes me tired to do it, and I usually only work two days. When I do go in, I'm able to help out my colleagues by writing reports for them. Going in to work has actually helped me in this process. Kind of like with my work-outs, it's just one more way I can act "normal." I'm also blessed to work with the best group of people in the world! I count many of my coworkers as some of my dearest friends, and it's always good to see them. It's a blessing that I've been able to modify my work to allow me to stay in the office, rather than being out in the schools. Although I do miss that part of my job, my doctor did not feel that being in a school would be the best thing, for obvious reasons! I am blessed with wonderful coworkers who have donated sick days to me so that I don't have to worry about not having sick days or taking unpaid time off. I am so overwhelmed by their generosity!
Over the last several weeks, I've learned that "chemo brain" is a real thing. I can really tell that I process information differently than I did before starting chemo. I have trouble concentrating at times and can be really forgetful. There are also times when I just can't think of the word I need. It's not even like it's on the tip of my tongue, it's just not there! Although these things have been hard to deal with, everything I've read (and what my doctor has told me) indicates that they will go away after being finished with chemo. I was so concerned about how I've been feeling that my doctor ordered a brain MRI. Having that brain MRI was one of the more terrifying moments of this experience, only because I couldn't help but lie there and think about "what if." Good news is, brain MRI showed absolutely no concerns! My doctor actually called me later in the evening on the day of my test. My heart stopped when I heard her voice on the phone, because usually the doctor herself doesn't call (especially so quickly) unless there's a problem. However, my doctor was calling because she said she knew I would be worried about it and wanted to let me know everything was fine!
I also had an ultrasound to check my ovaries this past week. With everything I've learned during this process, I now know that I could be at risk for developing ovarian cancer at some point. The ultrasound was to check for any signs of that at this point. There was a cyst on one of my ovaries, which could be normal if chemo hasn't completely shut down their functioning (which it can do but doesn't always do). However, given how so many of the tests and procedures I've had lately seem to keep turning up more bad news, I can't help but worry a little bit. I will follow-up with another ultrasound in two weeks to look for changes in the cyst. If it's benign, they will be able to see a change in it. The doctor also ordered a CA 125 test, which is a blood test for ovarian cancer. The numbers for that came back in the normal range, which is reassuring. I definitely plan to have a hysterectomy in the very near future so that I no longer have to worry about developing ovarian cancer. However, I was hoping to hold off on that until after finishing with chemo, the mastectomy, and radiation. It's still looking like that can be the case, but I'll know for sure in a couple of weeks.
The good news for right now is that I have two off-weeks this time because my doctor wanted to give me an extra week before starting the next phase of chemo. So, I have an extra week this time to enjoy feeling (sort of) normal! That is so exciting to me! I realize that I have taken my health for granted my entire life, until now. I was blessed with extremely good health prior to my diagnosis and have never experienced any health problems until now. Since my diagnosis, and especially since starting chemo, I have learned to really appreciate my health. I can't even describe how good it feels to feel good! Sometimes, on good days, I'll stop and think how bad I felt just a few days prior and really take a moment to appreciate how good I feel right then. I can't even begin to explain how much this journey has taught me to appreciate everything about my life!
I'm planning to use this extra "good" time to enjoy my family, accomplish things that have been left undone, and just enjoy feeling good! I also have the privilege of hosting a baby shower for my sister-in-law, who is expecting her first baby. I love planning parties, and this one has been extra fun to plan. I had offered to have this shower for her before my diagnosis. After my diagnosis, I thought I might not be able to do it, which was very disappointing to me. However, once we realized we could time it right, I decided to go ahead with it. Again, one more way I'm keeping control, rather than letting cancer take control of me!
